In talking w/ a friend of mine today, I guess I didn’t fully grasp just how of an amazing experience it was having kids.
I told him that I could have written a novel about just the 15 minutes prior to delivery and the 15 minutes during and right up until the delivery of our twins. The emotional rollercoaster you go on is almost unexplainable in words. You’d never understand unless you were there or its happened to you. It all started by getting to the hospital at 7:45am, 2 hours till delivery time (babies had went breech, so a c-section was the only option). By 9:00 Jen was all done being monitored, IV was in, drip was started, and the delivery nurse was giving the run-through about what was going to happen, all starting the cycle of how our life as we know it was going to drastically change. Just past 9:45 and they walked Jen down to the O.R. I could only imagine all the thoughts going through her head as she was going from very pregnant to a mom all in about a 30-45 min period. But she’s strong, and she knew both kids were already very healthy, so I think it put her at comfort. Plus, her OB was the one that started that practice years and years ago, so having somebody she was not only comfortable with, but one that was able to talk her through everything while being the utmost professional was great for her, and me as well. So they take her away and tell me to get on the scrubs and such, and we’ll be back in 15 minutes to get you. So as you sit in a room by yourself with nobody checking in on you, knowing your wife is less than 50 feet away, but you cant see her, talk to her, comfort her, it was disconcerting. You just sit there and watch the clock, waiting for that nurse to step in the room and call you down to be with your wife. About 5 minutes into it, your mind starts wandering. How am I going to be as a father? How will our kids be? Are they healthy? Is mom ok? The whole time you keep looking up at the clock, it almost looks stopped. I’m sitting there in my scrubs, in COMPLETE silence, all alone, mind wandering, all I wanted was information. How is my wife? How are my kids? Are they all ok? Then a nurse walked in and mutters ‘We’re ready for you’ You walk into the O.R with her to find the BRIGHTEST light you’ve ever seen in your life. Almost bright to the point where you cant look up. The sounds of the O.R., the beeping monitors, the suction running, the doctors chatting like its no big thing. Then the nurse sits me down by the head of Jen’s bed, next to her head, right next to the anesthesiologist. I’m watching him check his monitors, watching her heart rate and other vitals, talking to the doctors. I have an issue in which if I hear backround noise, I cant quite pickup on all the conversations that are going on. Seeing that there was no less than 6 or so medical staff in the room talking to one another, I was having an issue picking up what was going on. Plus with emotions going crazy, the light, seeing Jen looking so helpless, it was a lot to take in. And knowing you’re minutes away from parenthood, this was the apex of the emotional roller coaster…. and right as I’m at that moment you hear the doctor say ‘here is baby 1… a girl, and the dr breaks the tension of the room with ‘Jen, your baby girl has a big butt!’ I smile, Jen smiles…. but, we don’t hear a cry right away. Just a little peep, almost like a chick. The nurses and neo-natologist check her over and help clear out her lungs, and then she cries. We were both holding there, just waiting for it, it seemed like FOREVER while in actuality it was probably a minute or so. Hailey has joined us. 10:18am. Just one minute later you can see Jen wiggle a bit from the dr positioning her, then ‘ah, baby 2’ and then an immediate cry. He didn’t give us as much as a scare as her. He made his presence felt. After a few minutes of the dr’s doing their thing, the nurses doing theirs, Jen looks at me, I look at her and we both have a smile from ear to ear… we’re parents. The nurse then stops by and asks me “would you like to cut the cords?” Me being somewhat squeamish I thought twice about it, but Jen smiles and says ‘do it’, and I’m glad I did. Both babies are still a mixture of pale white and bright pink, but they look up at you while they’re warming and right then you get your first experience w/ them as a parent. After that I was quickly shuttled out of the O.R. with them as the dr’s finished with Jen. I got to carry Tyler out of the O.R. to the recovery room. It was probably the proudest moment of my life. Makes me feel awesome just writing about it. They got warmed up a bit, another checkup and the doctor comes walking out and says Jen will be with me in recovery in a moment. As they wheeled her into the recovery room we just looked at each other and knew what each other was thinking… like I said before, I think it was ‘wow, we’re PARENTS’
I just sit back and think now that in the time it took me to write this was longer than the time it took us to be a true family. Its simply amazing. Emotional, crazy, awesome, wonderful, yet amazing…..
Love you Jen, Hailey, and Tyler…. Dad